I see the fear. The way you can't look me in the eye in this mirror because the fear has overwhelmed you. It's like that time in middle school when those boys swore you stuffed your bra after hitting puberty that summer. I remember the days you feared lunch time because they would throw rolled up toilet paper balls at you. Even though you knew your truth (#helloperiod and #firstrealbras ) you kept your eyes down, avoided them, and literally wished you could turn invisible. It was easier to curl up, retreat, and back down than to face the risk of defeat. And here you are same little girl in a grown up world (but different bra size), too afraid to hold your chin up.
Today, fear seems like it's winning. It's too big, too strong, too overwhelming for you to compete against. So quickly, you've become unsure of all you thought you knew. How does someone conquer such a giant when they find themselves just wanting to turn invisible yet again?! Is there some magic switch that we can flip on when those around us say so casually, "just trust in God". It's simple. Yet not.
Here's the truth sweet friend. Fear, ain't nothing but a thing. Call it like you see it. Pull the rug from underneath it. There's no mountain too tall, no valley too low for the love of God to reach you. Just like you knew your truth back then, you know the Truth of His word today. Your faults can't be held against you. You're strong within your weakness. That goal? It's obtainable. Those obstacles? You'll overcome.
Don't let the fact that you're afraid paralyze you from making moves. Be Brave. It's like you tell your own kids, "Bravery isn't NOT being afraid. It is being afraid and still choosing to push through." Just do the next right thing. Bravery is like a muscle. You don't just wake up one day jacked and loaded with a bicep that makes Dwayne Johnson jealous. It takes practice, execution, and patience. If you are asking God for courage, be prepared for circumstances in which you are required to be brave. Lean into it all. Ride it out. Own your story. You're doing alright friend.
I'll tell you what I wish I would've been able to tell my 13 year old self about those dumb boys and my growing body.
"Those two knuckleheads aren't even a part of the equation. This battle is between you and your own self. There will always be plenty of things to be afraid of. Anything outside of comfort heeds fear. Acknowledge the discomfort but dig deep, aim high, press on. Hold your head up. Know your truth. Be confident in the God above you, before you, and within you. He will see you through. You will not be left alone. I see the fear but most importantly I see you."