Wake up. TIRED... wishing I had not watched that last episode of Shameless and gone to sleep instead the night before. But I always justify it as the only "me time" so the vicious cycle continues. Then I tell myself today will be day that I am "Mary Poppins Mommy" but the kids have schemed up a plan already to destroy this. Put on my grumpy face and beg them to stop bickering already. COFFEE. Feed kids. Battle back and forth between making plans and staying home. Whichever one I pick always seems "harder" and leaves me wishing I had done the other. Break up more fighting. Feed them more. Pray for nap time. Attempt to make some sort of success out of blog. Feed them. Put baby to sleep. An hour later, come out from rocking baby (ahem) toddler, to sleep. Kids helped themselves to a snack. Clean up that mess. Dishes (maybe). Tell kids to have quiet time. They aren't quiet. Littlest one is back up. Survive lots of fighting and food making. Toss in the gym. Long for the moment the children go to sleep. Then eat all the junk food you avoided all day and binge watch HGTV or NETFLIX. Wash-Rinse-Repeat.
That sounds like a whole lot of whining. Perhaps it is. My blog. My pity party. Sorry 'bout your luck. But really, this stage of life feels like a hamster wheel. And it's not even a bad hamster wheel, just a repetitive one. One that goes 'round and 'round. There is actually wonderful happy stuff going on in my fairly easy life that I really have no business complaining about. The monotony of the day in and day out is just getting to me. When all you seem to be doing is getting through the day or the time is flying by without you even realizing it, some changes really should be made. You know what I mean?
I swear I used to be the mom that was thriving. Celebrating the small things, decorating for each holiday. Laughing throughout the day and lingering in the moments. Somewhere along the way I plunged into a mom that is just surviving. That feeling of just waiting for the next time everyone sleeps, or someone offers to babysit your kids. Circling a date on your calendar for that "extraordinary occasion" while all the days beforehand go unnoticed. I'm just chugging along in some weird state of boredom but not from lack of tasks to get done. #laundry
Ever realize on vacation you feel so alive and excited? Well, of course this is due in part to the fact that most of the time this means someone else is cleaning up behind us and we're not cooking our own food... but I believe it's also because we're experiencing something NEW. We have busted out of the mundane routine of our daily lives and we are exploring or experiencing adventures. The summer is my husband's busiest time of year for work so there are only "staycations" allowed. The problem with waiting until a vacation to feel alive and excited is that we miss out on a lot of opportunity to experience those feelings in our everyday lives. I'm determined to live a life I don't need to "escape" to enjoy.
During a class I was just taking, one of the panelists mentioned something that I'm going to start implementing myself to break up the day to day cycle. She said, "do something different everyday". I looked up from my notepad and paused. That was my solution. A special something doesn't have to be major, just significant. Maybe you drive a different way to pick up your kids from camp, or you drink your coffee on the porch instead of while you get dressed. Wear that brighter shade of lipstick or watch a new TV show you normally wouldn't select. It's like bringing little mini vacations to you by breaking up the norm. With all things, I'm realizing small steps make a huge impact and this is no exception.
If you're like me and finding that you're feeling stuck in the everyday of wiping butts or refereeing between your kids, carry on sister. Switch it up. Go crazy and eat dessert first. As moms, and heck just humans... sometimes we get caught up in the doing and forget the part about being. Feeling. LIVING. The wash-rinse-repeat cycle is over. Your clothes and your soul get worn far too quickly that way.