Monday Mirror Pep Talk... On Tuesday ;)

Dear Self,

Things will never be perfect. It's kind of the best timing for this "Monday Mirror Pep Talk" to be coming to you on a Tuesday afternoon. Just really trying to drive the point home that life just doesn't happen perfectly. Stop waiting for all the details to fall into place seamlessly. If you wait for a day that your house is sparkling clean to invite friends over, you'll be lonely for a long time. While you wait for the day your children are perfectly behaved and you never lose your cool to enjoy motherhood, it will slip right through your hands. Letting that bikini sit in the back of your drawer until you have a 6 pack (not referencing the half dozen donuts you bought) then you are wasting your time. If you leave your own joy and happiness on the back burner while you hustle for success and security (whatever the heck that is), then you'll live a sad life indeed. 

Social Media might look perfect, but real life is messy. You're late to everything no matter how hard you try. Your floors are covered in dog hair and most of your clothes are too. You're struggling with some stuff right now and you don't want to be miss social butterfly. All of that is OKAY. Seasons of life take us to different stages. Sometimes things are heavy and sometimes they are not. Mundane days flood our calendars. It's okay to feel absolutely bored when you're absolutely blessed. It's okay to feel content and yet still yearning for something more. There isn't a mama around that loves her "job" in motherhood 100% of the time. There's nothing wrong with you loving your kids but not liking them some days. Also, you don't need to know all the answers. If Google can't save you, just plea the 5th or say "ask your father". Some days may feel like you're screwing them up beyond repair, but the sooner they realize you're just a regular human trying her best, the better. Never pretend to never mess up. That way when they're old enough to catch on to you, they aren't shocked to see your flaws revealed. Chalk it up to building their character and nurturing resilient spirits. Call it a day. 

Don't worry about being too much or not enough for anyone. This quote from Dita Von Teese comes to mind, "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches. " You'll never be everyone's cup of tea. That in no way means there is something wrong with you. The more you are unapologetically true to yourself, the less you feel the need to please others. That small move alone, opens up a broad range of freedom from the cage of perfection. Do what you can with what you have. Lower the bar just a bit. Settle into good enough. Offer yourself the grace that you so freely give to friends. Find yourself reminding your own soul of all those kind phrases you encourage others with. Because if your girlfriend deserves a "you're doing just fine!" then so do you.

I'd argue that chipped and worn farmhouse furniture is the "in" look right now because people value a space well lived in. It's charming to have items that have seen hardships or lived a good life already. Far from perfect. But perfectly loved and quirky. That's the beauty in humans too. Things will never be perfect but that's the best way to live... 

“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” 

_The Velveteen Rabbit

Love, Candace